Motherhood has been the MOST transformative journey that has brought me immense joy, unconditional love, and finally a true sense of purpose. From the moment our precious IVF miracle entered our lives, we embarked on a beautiful adventure filled with nurturing, teaching, and guiding them through life.
Yet, after a few months of enjoying motherhood, and after my hormones had somewhat stabilised, I realised that we are more than just mothers; we are multi-dimensional individuals with our own dreams and aspirations.
In this post I share how I have managed to find balance between motherhood and personal aspirations , as well as some helpful practical tips you can implement to stay on track.
My Journey of Motherhood and Personal Aspirations
At the time of writing this post, my little one is about to turn one year old. And as I am reflecting on the last year, I have realised that even though I did not have an offical job, I have been very occupied with a few of my passions (though be it inconsistent).
On and off during the earlier months of motherhood, I had been:
- Guiding a professional athlete with her nutritional needs during her camp leading up to her world title defence.
- Writing and publishing my guided meditations on InsightTimer and Spotify.
- Breeding, whelping and raising 2 litters of beautiful Staffordshire Bull Terriers – which was SUPER tough whilst being a new mum.
- Journalling digitally only using the “day one” app. – it wasn’t until I picked up my hard copy journal again that I realised how much I had been missing out on (journaling in a real hard copy journal is so much more therapeutic to me as I can flick back to the previous pages, goals and challenges).
- I had the idea of starting a blog or podcast about my motherhood journey, but I had not really started anything other than jotting down some notes and ideas in my digital notes app on my phone.
Yet it wasn’t until after the 8th month of Motherhood that I finally started to CHOOSE ME again. Like really prioritising ME and MY GOALS….. I started to really prioritse my own goals/dreams/vision, which was still VERY hard as I was so sleep deprived (and still am). Basically in my mind it was something like “Okay now I want to be a good role model for my little one and also use my skills to help others“.
In the 9th month of Motherhood I finally built this blog and launched it with a few small articles on it including Unschooling 101 and Baby Led Weaning Recipes (Basically what I wanted to do was simply share my recipes and tips with other mums. At the time of launching this blog I probably only knew a handful of mums that would benefit rom this, but it did not stop me from starting anyway as I enjoyed doing it).
In preparation for our upcoming overseas trip we started to do a few outings and hikes in our area to help get our little one used to being in the carrier.
When our little one was 10 months old, I enjoyed a wonderful Solo Parenting Trip to The Netherlands, Dubai, and a stopover in Abu Dhabi. This was a much needed break. I love how travelling always gives you a clean start and greater perspective on things, which once again sparked me to write some helpful content for solo travelling parents.
Once I got started again with spending time on myself and my passions, I got that fire in the belly again. However I feel that balancing motherhood and my own passions is an art, one that requires patience, adaptability, and a willingness to carve out space for personal growth. It is about acknowledging that taking care of ourselves is not selfish but essential for our own well-being and for being the best versions of ourselves for our children. I feel as long as you know your “why” you’ll get to achieve what you set out to do.
Tips to Navigate Motherhood and Personal Aspirations
The journey of self-discovery and chasing your own goals amidst motherhood begins with the realisation that we are not defined solely by our roles as mothers. We all have passions, talents, and dreams that deserve attention and nurturing. Embracing this journey means giving ourselves permission to explore and pursue our personal aspirations, even while dedicating ourselves to the beautiful task of raising our children.
Finding Balance
Finding balance is key to my journey as a mum. I recognise that my time and energy are precious resources that need to be allocated thoughtfully.
I strive to create a harmonious rhythm where moments of self-care and self-discovery can coexist with the demands of motherhood. Sometimes it means waking up a little earlier to take care of my breeding kennel and sometimes it means that the first half of the evening is spent journalling instead of laying in bed with my husband. It’s all about allocating the activities to the most suitable time.
The most important thing I learned whilst listening to “Boundless Parenting by Ben Greenfield” is that you don’t need to choose between being a parent or being successful.
It’s about finding that delicate equilibrium that allows me to thrive as an individual while nurturing my role as a mother.
Set clear goals
As I embark on my journey, I make sure to define my personal goals with utmost clarity. Establishing a clear vision of what I want to achieve is the foundation of my path forward. This clear vision is something I have printed out and hung up on my wall, next to my short term and long term goals, in order to stay focused when I go off track.
This clarity empowers me to prioritise my time and energy effectively, ensuring that every effort I put in aligns with my aspirations.
By staying focused on my defined goals, I can navigate through challenges and keep my eyes firmly fixed on the path that leads to fulfilment and success.
Prioritising and Delegating
I have come to realise the importance of identifying my top priorities both as a mother and in pursuit of my goals (holding myself accountable via my journal, and having a deep connection to my vision).
Learning to delegate tasks that others can handle or seeking support from my partner, family, or friends has been a game-changer.
Delegating not only lightens my load as a mom but also frees up valuable time for me to focus on my personal endeavours.
As hard is it is being a type A personality – it is all about recognising that I don’t have to do it all alone and that seeking help can be a powerful tool in my journey towards success.
Effective time management
As a mom chasing her dreams, I find planning my days and weeks in advance to be a game-changer. I make sure to carve out dedicated time for my personal goals, which helps me stay focused and on course.
Shared calendars, to-do lists, and productivity apps have become my trusty companions in organising my time effectively. I seize any available moments, like when my little one is napping or engrossed in activities, to make the most of those windows of time. By managing my time efficiently, I can make progress towards my aspirations while still being present for my child.
Embracing flexibility
I have learned the importance of embracing flexibility while juggling motherhood and pursuing my personal goals. I acknowledge that certain days will present greater challenges than others, and I have come to accept that unexpected situations may arise at any moment (hooray sleep deprivation!).
I feel that it is essential to be adaptable and ready to adjust my plans accordingly. By doing so, I can navigate the beautiful chaos of motherhood while still striving towards my aspirations with a resilient spirit.
Self-care is crucial
I know that taking care of myself is essential to maintain balance and be a good mum and happy person.
Although I find this one tough as well, I try to prioritise self-care activities, such as exercise, relaxation, hobbies, and quality sleep where possible.
When you’re mentally and physically healthy, you’ll be better equipped to handle both your maternal responsibilities and personal pursuits.
Also see my tips in 3 Things I’m Doing Right Now To Be A Better Person and Mum
Seeking Support
This one is probably the number one rule when you have a little one “ask for help”. I REALLY struggled with this one as I feel I can do it all myself (No I can’t do it all myself, sometimes I need help and that’s ok).
No matter how challenging this may be for you, don’t be afraid to ask for help or seek support from your partner, family, or friends.
Discuss your goals and aspirations with them, and explore ways they can assist you. Consider joining or forming a support group with other moms who are also pursuing their goals.
Involving Your Little One
As a mum, I have discovered wonderful ways to include my child in my pursuits, (albeit tailored to their age and interests). Doing things with your little one is a fantastic opportunity for meaningful bonding while I progress towards my own goals.
For instance, during my study sessions, I create a cozy corner for my little one nearby, filled with activities that capture their attention.
In my office, I work diligently at my standing desk, all the while laying out engaging activities on the carpet, ensuring they are safe as I focus on my laptop, crafting a new post. It’s all about finding that balance and cherishing these special moments together.
Journalling Questions to Stay On Track
The hardest thing about chasing my own goals and aspirations is holding myself accountable for doing what I said I was going to do. So the only way to keep myself accountable is by writing about it in my journal and then seeing if my time spent on a task has brought me closer to my goal or to my vision. So here are my favourite journalling questions to stay on track as a mum with goals and aspirations:
1. What did I do well yesterday?
2. What’s my focus for today ?
3. What’s 1 thing i will do for my self care ?
4. What is 1 thing I can do to help someone today ?
Benefits of Chasing Your Own Goals Whilst Being a Mum
Focusing on your own goals while being a mum brings numerous benefits, including:
- Personal Fulfillment: Pursuing your passions and dreams provides a sense of personal fulfillment, allowing you to feel accomplished and satisfied with your life.
- Balanced Identity: Recognising yourself as a multi-dimensional individual, not solely defined by motherhood, helps you maintain a balanced sense of identity.
- Positive Role Model: By prioritising your goals, you become a positive role model for your children, showing them the importance of ambition, perseverance, and self-care.
- Enhanced Well-being: Nurturing your own aspirations improves your mental and emotional well-being, leading to increased happiness and reduced stress.
- Increased Productivity: Allocating time for personal goals can boost productivity as you become more focused and determined to achieve your objectives.
- Sense of Empowerment: Chasing your dreams empowers you to take control of your life and make choices that align with your vision for the future.
- Personal Growth: Pursuing your goals encourages personal growth, allowing you to develop new skills and broaden your horizons.
- Enhanced Parenting: Being fulfilled in your personal pursuits can positively impact your parenting, as you approach your role with a sense of contentment and confidence.
- Resilience and Adaptability: Balancing motherhood and goals requires resilience and adaptability, strengthening your ability to face challenges and overcome obstacles.
- Long-Term Satisfaction: Achieving your goals can lead to long-term satisfaction and a sense of pride in your accomplishments.
Remember, taking care of yourself and pursuing your passions is not selfish but essential for your own well-being and the well-being of your family. Embrace the journey of motherhood while nurturing your personal aspirations for a fulfilling and purposeful life. 🌟💪🌈
The Wrap Up
In this journey of motherhood and pursuing my dreams, I remind myself that I am doing my best, and it’s alright to make adjustments as needed. I avoid comparing myself to others and instead stay focused on my unique path.
Celebrating small achievements and showing self-compassion during challenging times has been crucial. I’ve learned that balance is subjective and can change from day to day or season to season.
Focusing on my own goals brings personal fulfilment, a balanced identity, and enhances my well-being. By doing this I know I will become (already am) a positive role model for my child and experience personal growth and resilience. Pursuing my dreams empowers me to take control of my life and make choices that align with my vision for our future.
Over time I know that my priorities may shift, so regular reassessment and adaptable strategies are essential, as well as regular journalling. Putting all this together, I know that by finding a rhythm that suits me and my family, I can nurture my personal goals while being an amazing mum. 💕🌈
